Death Cafe

Death Cafe
Named afterBernard Crettaz's "café mortel"
Formation2011
FounderJon Underwood
Legal statusNon-profit
PurposeDeath
Websitehttps://deathcafe.com/

A Death Cafe is a scheduled non-profit get-together (called "social franchises" by the organisers) for the purpose of talking about death over food and drink, usually tea and cake. The idea originates with the Swiss sociologist and anthropologist Bernard Crettaz, who organized the first café mortel in 2004.[1] Jon Underwood, a UK web developer, was inspired by Crettaz's work, introduced the death cafe to London in 2011, and launched the Death Cafe website.[2] They have since been held in many countries.

Format and purpose

Death Cafes are events, usually lasting two hours with around a dozen participants, were people discuss their understanding, thoughts, dreams, fears and any other aspects of death and dying over tea and cake.There is no fixed venue, and the events have previously been held in homes, rented halls, restaurants, cafes[3][4][5][6], a cemetery[7] and a yurt.[8] Some Death Cafes have specifically created an opportunity for health-care professionals to talk about death.[9]

The Death Cafe website states the purpose is "to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives".[10] The open-ended discussions also provide an avenue to express thoughts about one's own life stirred up by the death of a family member.[9]

Crettaz said that his aim of his café mortel was to break the "tyrannical secrecy" surrounding the topic of death,[3] and that at these gatherings, "the assembled company, for a moment, and thanks to death, is born into authenticity."[11] This is echoed by Underwood, who stated that "we have lost control of one of the most significant events we ever have to face",[8] and facilitators who have said that there is "a need among people to open [the] closet"[4] into which death, the "last taboo", has been placed, to reduce fear and enable people to live more fully.[3][4]

History

Crettaz organized the first café mortel in 2004 in Neuchâtel,[3][12] and in 2010 brought the idea to Paris. He published a book titled Cafés Mortels: Sortir la Mort du Silence (Death Cafes: Bringing Death out of Silence).[13] According to one commentator, Crettaz wanted to revive the pagan tradition of the funeral feast, "where the living would renew their bonds while letting go of what weighed on their hearts".[14]

In 2011, inspired by Crettaz and with his guidance, Underwood held the first London Death Cafe at his home in Hackney.[3][10] He subsequently developed the Death Cafe website, generating guidelines with his mother, psychotherapist Susan Barsky Reid, and the concept was taken up globally.[4][15][16] The first US event was organized by Lizzy Miles, a hospice worker, in summer 2012 near Columbus, Ohio.[17][18][19] By June 2014, the idea had spread to Hong Kong,[20] and it was subsequently popularized in Shanghai by a non-profit organization that provides hospice services to cancer patients.[21] Café Totentanz or Totentanz-Café is used in German-speaking areas.[12][22]

In February 2013, a Death Cafe in London was filmed.[23]

Underwood died in June 2017; Death Cafe has since been run by his mother Susan Barsky Reid, his sister Jools Barsky, and his wife Donna Molloy.[24][10]

After hosting a Death Café in Perth, Scotland, counsellor and social entrepreneur Rachel Weiss was inspired to use the model for talking about menopause. Weiss hosted the first Menopause Café in 2017 in Perth and there are now cafés across the world.[25]

References

  1. ^ "Le «sociologue de la mort» Bernard Crettaz est décédé". 29 November 2022.
  2. ^ Magra, Iliana (11 July 2017). "Jon Underwood, Founder of Death Cafe Movement, Dies at 44". The New York Times.
  3. ^ a b c d e Gary Singh, "Expiration Date," Silicon Alleys, Metro_Silicon_Valley, July 23, 2014.
  4. ^ a b c d Deena Prichep, "Death Cafes Breathe Life Into Conversations About Dying", NPR, March 8, 2013.
  5. ^ "'Death cafes' gaining popularity", CBS News, August 19, 2013.
  6. ^ Nita Lelyveld, "Passing thoughts at L.A.'s first Death Cafe", Los Angeles Times, April 15, 2013.
  7. ^ Associated Press, "At these coffee klatches, death is on the agenda ", The Wall Street Journal, October 21, 2013.
  8. ^ a b Eleanor Tucker, "What on earth is a death cafe?", Family, The_Guardian, March 21, 2014.
  9. ^ a b Lizzy Miles and Charles A. Corr, "Death Cafe: What Is It and What We Can Learn From It", Omega, October 29, 2015, pp. 6–7.
  10. ^ a b c "What is Death Cafe?", Death Cafe.com, retrieved July 24, 2014.
  11. ^ Clare Davies, "The Death Café", Aeon, September 11, 2013, archived from the original on July 28, 2014.
  12. ^ a b Karen Schärer, "Die Todes-Café: Wenn man sich im Restaurant trifft, um über den Tod zu plaudern", Aargauer Zeitung, December 3, 2013, archived from the original on October 23, 2015 (in German).
  13. ^ Molly Guinness, "Never say die? Far from it in Paris death café", The Independent, November 1, 2010.
  14. ^ Ondine Millot, "Cafés mortels: trépas sur le pouce", Libération, October 27, 2010 (in French).
  15. ^ Helen Carter, "Death Cafe: Discussing mortality over tea and cake", BBC News, January 31, 2014.
  16. ^ "Sunday, 15 December 2013: Death Cafe", Spiritual Outlook, Radio New Zealand National, retrieved July 24, 2014.
  17. ^ Paula Span, "Death Be Not Decaffeinated: Over Cup, Groups Face Taboo", The New Old Age, blogs, The New York Times, June 26, 2013.
  18. ^ Janice Lloyd, "'Death cafes' normalize a difficult, not morbid, topic", USA Today, April 7, 2013.
  19. ^ Jaweed Kaleem, "Death Cafes Grow As Places To Discuss, Learn About End Of Life", Huffington Post, February 4, 2013.
  20. ^ Christy Choi, "At Hong Kong's Death Cafe, it is love and life that is on the menu", South China Morning Post, June 15, 2014.
  21. ^ Fan Yiying, "After a Year of Loss, Chinese Find Solace in 'Death Cafés'", Sixth Tone, April 3, 2021.
  22. ^ Sascha Stienen, "Im Totentanz-Café", Katholisch.de, May 12, 2013.
  23. ^ "Tea and mortality; the rise of Death Cafés", Dying Matters, February 12, 2013.
  24. ^ "Jon Underwood, 'Death Café' founder – obituary", Daily Telegraph, July 13, 2017.
  25. ^ McElhone, Nora (2024-10-11). "Perth's Rachel Weiss on how she broke the age-old taboo around the menopause". The Courier. Retrieved 2025-03-06.

Further reading

  • Bernard Crettaz. Cafés Mortels: Sortir la Mort du Silence. Geneva: Labor et fides, 2010. ISBN 9782830913903. (in French).